My brother died from an accidental drug overdose when he was 37. Devastatingly his son, my nephew Jamie, died at just 25 also from a drug overdose. We are still waiting (nearly 3 years later) for the Inquest, to find out exactly what happened.
As many will know living with addiction in your family is extremely stressful. You are on high alert waiting for any news, good or bad, and feel on edge all the time. You feel frustrated that they won’t listen to you and helpless that there is nothing that you can do to change what is happening. You didn’t ask for any of this yet the actions of someone you love changes your whole life. You feel so sorry for them whilst also feeling very angry with them. Just stop you say-if only it were that easy for them! I believe my brother and nephew self-medicated to get away from feelings that they just couldn’t cope with.
The death of my brother came as a huge shock. He had previously been in hospital many times with illness related to his addiction. He had chocked on his own vomit 10 years prior to his death and was in in Intensive care for months. He had been to rehabs and had been in recovery for 7 years. A year to the day that his best friend died sadly Leslie died too. The pathologist commented that the amount of the drug he took may not have killed someone else, but his body couldn’t take it after being drug and alcohol free for so long.
I never expected history to repeat itself and when I got the call that Jamie had died, I didn’t think that I could go on living, the pain, loss and guilt felt intolerable. It has taken well over 2 years to feel present at times, but I don’t feel that I will ever feel truly happy again. Other factors led to Jamies death that I won’t speak about here whilst we are waiting for the Inquest process to take place. I try to remember Jamie as a kind, funny boy. He was lovely with older people and especially lovely with my son who has special needs. He just didn’t seem to like himself or feel comfortable in his own skin. I would do anything to be able to see him just one more time.
My parents have lost their only son and grandson. I cannot get over the waste of life. I also find that other people don’t seem as sympathetic when it is a drug related death and there appears to still be lots of stigma for families like mine.
Sadly, I read time and time again of another young person that has died of a drug overdose and think of the family that will be starting their grief journey. Something has to change as the current outdated drug laws clearly are failing many people and their families.